Two weeks back, I watched Discovery Channel with the boys and the title of the series was Re-Design My Brain. It was basically about a man named Todd Sampson who is on a quest to expand his brain capacity. There were activities addressing speed, memory, flexibility and so on.

He had to do juggling for half an hour everyday for the next few weeks (see I can't even remember that part). Apparently, juggling does not just improve our hand-eye coordination, it also boosts your memory. He also had to practice his attention to detail and response speed through a series of computer exercises  and help his detail retention through the art of mnemonics. At the end of his training, he is supposed to compete in World Memory Championships where individuals of different ages display their brains' prowess through a number of levels and tests.

As a newbie, he is supposed to memorise a deck of cards in full detail on exactly how they were arranged. And guess what? He was able to! It was awe-mazing!

So I thought, why not try it?

My mom always say that our brain should always be challenged. If we don't interact on the same level of people as we used to, our IQ will go down. She said, "take me for example, because I am a stay-at-home mom, my IQ was not as high as it used to be". Well, I'm not sure of the IQ part and do not entirely agree on the reason of being a stay-at-home but she is partially right. 

I remember when I stopped working for awhile and I just became a couch potato. I was not reading anything academic, not abreast with current events, I was mostly playing games on the computer or watching TV series and reading gossip columns. The silliest and shallowest things amused me. Even my perspective on various areas became laughable. When I recall some of the conversations I had then, it was awful to the point of cringe-worthy. I almost want to write a disclaimer that anyone who had a conversation with me during those years, please erase it from your memory.

So yes, if our brains became idle and are not fed with good value information, junk instead of nutrition, naturally and expectedly, it will wither away. 

It is very fortunate that we have technology on our hands, that information now is more accessible than it used to be. There is no excuse for being misinformed. It doesn't matter whether you are a full time mom, part time mom, not a mom, fresh graduate, man, woman, old, young, student, each one of us is armed with information.

I think our nemesis now is which information retention and filtering. After all, this is the generation of 6-second video Vines, 140 character Tweets and few seconds Snapchats. It almost feel like we are those test subjects being fed subliminal messages through blinking words in the middle of a movie.  

I have always aimed at continuous learning and improvement. Always into reading but now on top of my reading, I make it a point to read at least 3 articles a day about current events, technology or HR, first thing in the morning before work becomes hectic. I am also more involved now with the kids' Math and English exercises. After watching Redesign My Brain, I was even more intent on boosting my brain.

Then I found BrainHQ. So far, it's keeping me entertained, so are the boys. After all it is presented as a game. Who doesn't like a game? I for one is addicted to games. As they say, "practice makes perfect". It's not really perfection that we are looking for but improvement. Improve we all did as we go along. Our rates improve with every practice and I notice my information retention is getting better too.

The boys are asking me to subscribe. We're using the free version at the moment. Maybe I will subscribe. If our progress is consistent, I sure will.

A lot of things are in my head. Just like any other day, a competition between ideas, issues, solutions, stories and a whole lot more occurs trying to get a piece of my time, attention, brain and effort.
 
I got a call from my kids' school right while I was in a meeting, which at the exact time my boss was also looking for me. I saw two missed calls, both are important. As a working mom, who do I call first?
 
That day is like any other day.

I called back the school while typing on my Whatsapp, messaging my boss while waiting for the School Reception to pick up. Finally someone answered but couldn't tell me who tried to call me as it's the main switchboard. She said "don't worry, for sure they'll call back". I know they will, they always do.

Unfortunately when they did, I was in an impromptu meeting. I found out from hubby that it was School Management trying to call and it's because our oldest boy, Alex is suspended for two days over a fight.

Mother's normal reaction would have been panic and anger. Mine was total calm, I was curious but definitely collected. Alex has a history of being pick on ever since a little one and sometimes, he reaches a point of "too much" and he fights back.

I am not condoning violence but I cannot fault him for defending himself. 

There was an incident before when Alex put two kids to the clinic. They were the same kids who's been kicking his back while he's walking doing his thing, calling him names. When the school called and told me about it and told me to tell my son not to resort to violence, I out-rightly replied,  "he has been telling school authorities about these bullies but somehow nobody is taking action, should I blame him for having had enough?"

Before the incident happen, Alex talked to me. After so many discussion on what he should do to inform authorities, in the end I was left with this to say, "okay Alex, you did everything you can to let them know. This has been months. If the same bullies try to hurt you, do what you have to do to defend yourself. If you do, make sure it sends a message to the others". He did.

After the incident, I had a chat with Alex to tell him that "now that you've proven what you can do, let's go back to informing authorities". 

As a parent, I am in such dilemma. When he was growing up, we were very keen in instilling in him "no to violence". Always telling him to watch his temper. Never hurt a girl. Never start a fight. If he is in the middle of an argument, walk away because his dad said, "if I find out you hit someone or go into a fight, you will be in big trouble".

Then came school, his Tourette ticks, his short attention span when he was young, his height (he used to be the smallest one) all contributing to him being targeted by bullies.

I wouldn't say he's anything special, the bullies target anyone within reach. Alex is probably 1 out of the other targeted ones  in the whole building. As a parent, should I tell him to forget what we thought him and just hit back when someone hits him or should he continue walking away and keep him vulnerable?

I still say keep peace and stay away from where the bullies hang out but obviously, if push comes to shove and he is on a spot, "defend yourself". We have one strict rule, he must never start the fight, or else, it means big trouble. If we find out that he started the fight, he will not see neither I nor his dad meeting school authorities. He is on his own to sort his shit out.

He is now 13 years old and so far the basic rule is still in place. So when I get calls like that, I have a series of standard questions, "Who started it? Where did you get hit? Are you hurt? Can you handle the pain or is it serious and should I be worried? Where did you hit back? Is it worth the disciplinary office trip? Do you think you did that right thing? 

For some who are curious what was the last issue, it was his classmate who keeps on cursing at him in Tagalog (my kids don't speak Tagalog but they are aware of the bad words, thanks to their other Filipino classmates for the lesson). I believe it was somewhere along the neighbourhood of FU or SOB kinda of curse, I did not explore, I am on denial that my boy actually knows the meaning of these words.

Alex was not in the mood for it so he retorted and called the boy a horrible name. Alex, unfortunately cross the line with his retort. It is an unacceptable word, anywhere in the world. So the boy naturally went livid, punch him in the head, Alex hit back and also managed to throw a chair at his classmate's head.

By the time I reach him on the phone, they have already made up, back to friends but did not get away from their corresponding rewards of 2-days suspension.   

​The joys of parenting!

Interesting read: 
"Bullied Kids Should Hit Back, According to US experts"