My mother has a big heart... sometimes to a fault.

I still remember when I still a little girl, it was two days before Christmas, she bought boxes of special hams and I thought, "we sure can't finish them all, what is she thinking?!" 

We then roamed around the city looking for Metro-aids. (Metro-aids are the ones who clean the streets). She then asked me to approach them and give a box of ham each while greeting them "Merry Christmas". 

Up to this day, their facial expressions were still quite vivid in my head. It started with the grumpy look, to baffled, to a smile so genuine, some even have tears in their eyes. My mom told me, "I think we just made a few families happy this Christmas Eve". Every Christmas, I think of them and I wonder if that simple gesture from our side made a difference. I wonder if they still remember that day because for sure, I still do.

Now that I'm older and have my own family, I would like to instill "helping others" to my children the way my mother did. 

My two boys helped out one time in our yearly Ramadan Company CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) activities. Giving away food boxes to labourers is one of the many that we do in Ramadan. But I thought, why should we limit helping others to the season of Ramadan.

So recently, my boys had a one week school break. We received an email from the school to bring the boys to work to give them exposure and practical experience. Since my husband brings the boys to work anyways even when they are not on school break, it feels like they can probably do something else. So I asked them if they'd be interested to give out snacks to labourers and street workers. They said it sounds like a good idea and so the idea begun.

I thought 20 packs of food is good enough. When I started ordering for samosas, I realised that's just too small of a number. And so the 20 became 50 samosas. If they have to eat samosa, they also need water, and juice and fruits.

So in the end, we have 50 samosas, 50 clementines, more than 50 water bottles and juice boxes. 

We didn't have to go far and it didn't take too long to finish off our stash. 

The first ones were 2 labourers who took a break away from their team and a street sweeper. They were pretty happy with the food and they keep on telling us "thank you, thank you".

The next were around 4 labourers waiting for their pick-up. When we asked them if they would like some samosas, they thought we were looking were to get samosas so they were saying they don't know. I figured it was miscommunication and so I just put one samosa in each bowl, put the sweet and spicy sauce and show them, their eyes lit up and suddenly gravitated towards our car. Jason happily got water bottles, juice boxes and clementines. Alex was the photographer of the day. Though he was not giving out food, he was smiling. He knows we were doing something good.

I thought, okay, I don't want the samosas to go cold. These are good samosas, I know because we order the exact ones for the office when we crave for it. I told the boys, we're gonna have to go to Media City and distribute what we have at the construction site in front of UOWD. But on our way to the exit, I saw 3 Labourers under the heat, taking a break, so I decided to take a pit stop.

3 became 5, became 6, and before we knew it, we were left with just 5 samosas. Every time we were about to leave, Jason will yell, "mommy, more are coming!". Word of mouth definitely travels fast, especially when you're hungry and it's about food.

By the rate of it, the boys were both telling me, we should have bought more samosas. :)

It was hot, I was sick, boys were getting exhausted going back and forth to get the stash and distributing them. But we were all happy in the end.

As we left the construction site and headed to the mall's parking lot to distribute the remaining 5, we saw from afar a lot, a lot, a lot of construction workers on queue waiting for their bus. We all look at each other, well we now know where will be the next place to distribute when we do this again. 

In the mall's parking lot, I saw a cleaner. I told Jason to ask him if he would like a samosa. He quickly said he wanted and so I told him, I'll give him all 5 with the remaining sauces, he can share (or not) with his friends at work or bring it home, it's up to him. He looked so happy.

Then I checked, we still have some water bottles, juice boxes and a few clementines. Apparently, some of the labourers didn't take water or juice or clementines. Some just took either a juice or just water or just the fruit, but for sure every single one took samosa.

On our way home, we decided to pass by the horde of labourers we saw and distribute whatever is left. Once again, miscommunication happened. When we asked, do you guys want water, most of them said no, because they thought we were looking for a place to get water. 

The minute Jason started waiving water bottles and juice boxes in front of them, it went all crazy. It was a good thing we were inside the car, our stash disappeared in just a minute. We had to tell them sorry, we have no more.

We left the area and for sure know that the next time we distribute, it will be to this area. We ended the day with a happy heart. 

​Looking forward to our next "lend a hand" activity.

I am all about getting inspired and motivated and usually when it works for me, I love to share it. It makes me very happy to see others benefit from my experiences. I love sharing.

I attended a workshop last week where the trainer said something about, "when you feel a little down, try to help someone, usually you'll immediately feel good and your mood will start to change." 

I never knew that before but I always have this instinct to help if I can. I must have gotten it from my mom.

So today, I'm not feeling down, on the contrary, I am actually very very happy because I am back to my cooking and baking self. I feel like I'm getting back to my castle of contentment. I am sharing because I believe it might help someone else reach their goal(s) and that would be such a grand thing!

I got my kids to join in which is really exciting. Alex is not hard to convince. I explained the mechanics, explained "delayed gratification", explained the reward, he asked questions, I answered and that's it. He got his envelope, wrote on it and put in his first 3 weeks savings from his extra money and moved on.

Jason? That's a different story. 

Jason is the skeptic. He has to see what's in it for him, like really I had to make a hard sell! There are so many obstacles and series of questions that I need to answer before he got convinced. In the end he told me, "but mommy, I only have Dh 1, because I spent the rest on food. He had to wait for the next day to have enough money for the envelope. What a labour intensive thing! 

So the challenge has been called different names and it's been going on for years but some are still unaware of it.

Basically, we have 52 weeks in a year. Every week, you make a contribution to which week you are in.  Right now we are towards the beginning of week 4, so the savings in the envelope should be the value of $10:
Week 1 - deposit $1
Week 2 - deposit $2
Week 3 - deposit $3
Week 4 - deposit $4
Total as of week 4 = $10

Then on week 5, you should add 5 in the envelope and so it continues until you reach 52.

It's up to you what currency you feel like. Jason and Alex are on Dirhams since that's as much as they can afford with their school money. I am doing it on US Dollars. Maybe another year, I'll do it in Euro or British Pounds to make it more challenging!!! 

I sent the same thing to my colleagues and suggested, if they want to, they can also save for a love one and come 52nd week, they can gift it (or keep it too, you greedy you!). So many variations you can do! You can even have an envelope for each member of your family!

Again, do it if you want to. I told the same thing to my nanny and she just shrugged her shoulders. Obviously she is not into it. 

For me, it is one of the highlights of my week. Opening the envelop and putting in a little amount, it makes me smile.

Now that I'm a lot older, I like to save. This is how I managed to afford a big Europe tour for a family of 4 in 2014. It wasn't a budget travel, it was a well thought, obsessed kind of organised trip. My whole family didn't know what's happening until I said "we are applying for visa". Even then they knew squat. I'll write all about it soon (i hope). It was an amazing experience, the sparkle in their eyes were priceless. 

It was a fully-paid and fully organised trip that the only thing we need to do is pack our clothes and go. From the air tickets, the accommodation, the tours, the exquisite dinner by Alain Ducasse atop Eiffel tower, the only thing we paid for were tips, snacks here and there and daily grocery. Imagine going for a big trip with all big chunky expenses out of the way? It was blissful.

The same amount of determination was applied last year when I found out towards the end of 2014 that we are pregnant! I had some extra stash, I didn't want to spend them all on bags so I decided to kick start investing on properties. Got us our first proper house, furnished and a vacant lot in a prime location perfect for future vacation house. Again, it was all a wonderful surprise, another story to tell, another time. 

What I'm saying is, this 52 week challenge is just to tickle your saving buds. If you can do this, you can do more. IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

1,300 in whatever currency is a good amount of money. You certainly cannot pick it up from the street.

This savings challenge does not replace serious savings, like kids education, retirement or emergency fund. Don't abandon those, please! This is a fun savings that should make your week bright and make you giddy with delight. Do this on the side as a reward for you to splurge or do what the heck you want to at the end of the year... for your self.

​So what do you say?

A lot of things are in my head. Just like any other day, a competition between ideas, issues, solutions, stories and a whole lot more occurs trying to get a piece of my time, attention, brain and effort.
 
I got a call from my kids' school right while I was in a meeting, which at the exact time my boss was also looking for me. I saw two missed calls, both are important. As a working mom, who do I call first?
 
That day is like any other day.

I called back the school while typing on my Whatsapp, messaging my boss while waiting for the School Reception to pick up. Finally someone answered but couldn't tell me who tried to call me as it's the main switchboard. She said "don't worry, for sure they'll call back". I know they will, they always do.

Unfortunately when they did, I was in an impromptu meeting. I found out from hubby that it was School Management trying to call and it's because our oldest boy, Alex is suspended for two days over a fight.

Mother's normal reaction would have been panic and anger. Mine was total calm, I was curious but definitely collected. Alex has a history of being pick on ever since a little one and sometimes, he reaches a point of "too much" and he fights back.

I am not condoning violence but I cannot fault him for defending himself. 

There was an incident before when Alex put two kids to the clinic. They were the same kids who's been kicking his back while he's walking doing his thing, calling him names. When the school called and told me about it and told me to tell my son not to resort to violence, I out-rightly replied,  "he has been telling school authorities about these bullies but somehow nobody is taking action, should I blame him for having had enough?"

Before the incident happen, Alex talked to me. After so many discussion on what he should do to inform authorities, in the end I was left with this to say, "okay Alex, you did everything you can to let them know. This has been months. If the same bullies try to hurt you, do what you have to do to defend yourself. If you do, make sure it sends a message to the others". He did.

After the incident, I had a chat with Alex to tell him that "now that you've proven what you can do, let's go back to informing authorities". 

As a parent, I am in such dilemma. When he was growing up, we were very keen in instilling in him "no to violence". Always telling him to watch his temper. Never hurt a girl. Never start a fight. If he is in the middle of an argument, walk away because his dad said, "if I find out you hit someone or go into a fight, you will be in big trouble".

Then came school, his Tourette ticks, his short attention span when he was young, his height (he used to be the smallest one) all contributing to him being targeted by bullies.

I wouldn't say he's anything special, the bullies target anyone within reach. Alex is probably 1 out of the other targeted ones  in the whole building. As a parent, should I tell him to forget what we thought him and just hit back when someone hits him or should he continue walking away and keep him vulnerable?

I still say keep peace and stay away from where the bullies hang out but obviously, if push comes to shove and he is on a spot, "defend yourself". We have one strict rule, he must never start the fight, or else, it means big trouble. If we find out that he started the fight, he will not see neither I nor his dad meeting school authorities. He is on his own to sort his shit out.

He is now 13 years old and so far the basic rule is still in place. So when I get calls like that, I have a series of standard questions, "Who started it? Where did you get hit? Are you hurt? Can you handle the pain or is it serious and should I be worried? Where did you hit back? Is it worth the disciplinary office trip? Do you think you did that right thing? 

For some who are curious what was the last issue, it was his classmate who keeps on cursing at him in Tagalog (my kids don't speak Tagalog but they are aware of the bad words, thanks to their other Filipino classmates for the lesson). I believe it was somewhere along the neighbourhood of FU or SOB kinda of curse, I did not explore, I am on denial that my boy actually knows the meaning of these words.

Alex was not in the mood for it so he retorted and called the boy a horrible name. Alex, unfortunately cross the line with his retort. It is an unacceptable word, anywhere in the world. So the boy naturally went livid, punch him in the head, Alex hit back and also managed to throw a chair at his classmate's head.

By the time I reach him on the phone, they have already made up, back to friends but did not get away from their corresponding rewards of 2-days suspension.   

​The joys of parenting!

Interesting read: 
"Bullied Kids Should Hit Back, According to US experts"