By this time, the little me's vision has evolved and grew in depth. A house is not yet in the horizon, a career in HR finally came but still need to work on a lot of things, the car came and it was the car that I wanted at the time though not what the little me saw in my dream. 

The missed chance
One vacation back home some long time ago, we were strolling inside my first love mall, Mega Mall (this mall brings back so much memory from high school until college days) and got approached by one of the agents about condo units being sold. It didn't fit the dream I had. I said no. 

The slight poke of curiosity
Then a colleague of mine, told me, over lunch, how he has so many condo units and he let me in a little secret on how he increased his units from one to many. I'm not 100% sold but I thought, I think I want one. A place of our own when we go home, not a bad idea. So the next vacay, I told hubby we should have one. Don't really know the bigger purpose why we should have one but it felt like we should. And so we did.

Long term payments make hubby jittery, so we get the condo over and done with in no time. Having the condo unit woke my House dream. And now felt like I can own a house somewhere else but it is best to have a house back home too. When will that be? I did not know.

The condo was handed over but since I had no plans about it, no purpose, it sat idle for more than a year. 

The gateway
I got hired in my present company and I was surrounded by people who travel, a lot. Like seriously, a lot. Like on lunch breaks or coffee breaks, the topic is, where are you off to next break? It's not that it has to be big, it could be a wildlife reserve locally or nearby country but really the whole company likes to explore places with their family. My sleeping travel bug got awaken. My vision started seeing me and my family, exploring the world. And so I planned a big trip, it's our first big one and I intend to make it so memorable, it will warm my heart decades after. 

A colleague introduced me to AirBnB (https://www.airbnb.com/r/ntamayo?s=8&i=) while a childhood friend introduced me to Rick Steves. We enjoyed our trip so much, it does still warms my heart when I think of how I managed to surprise my boys and hubby. Strange places, beautiful places, gorgeous food, friendly people. Priceless feeling. 

Then it hit me. I should host guests, strangers, friends, family! 

The unexpected surprise that breed more surprises
Before we embarked in the last big trip of 2014 (it was big, New Year's Eve in New York City, Cali + cruise), we found out I was preggers. It was a super delicate pregnancy, one that nature was not supposed to allow due to my inhospitable uterus but preggers I was. My doctor ordered me to take it easy on all things. No heavy lifting, no house chores, no complicated exercise, go to work, go home and rest. That also means, no travel and it was not up for negotiation. 

The good part is, the cruise returned all the payment, the ticket was not yet bought, the accommodations sorted out but I have all these money which I planned to splurge on. The best part is, I'm pregnant! Third child, the boat which I thought shipped 5 years ago! The boat the doctor said will never come back. I ached for another child but always told myself that it's for the best. 
​
Maybe I shouldn't waste it on some non-sense (which I tend to do when I have something in my hand). I started looking for properties. It's not yet my dream house but it could be the start. I don't want it to be too big to maintain and be empty 11 months in a year or possibly 23 months in 2 years. Knowing my husband, he likes green, a place with nature so definitely need a good size yard.

Destined to be...
I saw potentials but it doesn't speak to me. Then I was catching up with a good friend of mine, fellow HR (she's kick ass than I could ever be) and she retold the story about typhoon Yolanda that devastated their hometown and that she has to relocate her family and she bought a house in Pampanga. I was so happy for her and told her that I'm also on the lookout. I was hoping I can get something from Villa del Sol. My family owns few plots there and I would be happy to own one too. Then she said, her place is in the same community and that an identical house to her might be for sale! Villa del Sol, the perfect space (not too big, not too small) and she as my neighbour?! How big a sign could it be?! My heartbeat was beating so fast I knew this is it. 

I literally pester my friend to introduce me to the owner and bugged them non-stop until they give in. Signed on the dotted line and we all went back to work. Well I work on the changes I want with the house at night when everyone is asleep. I have files after files of paint colour, lights, door knobs, cabinet holders, tiles, bricks, a video of the wood being cut off, types of grass, types of A/C, shower heads, sinks, water closet, glass, the whole nine yards. It's not the dream house but it sure cannot look shabby, unless it is followed by chic. I poured my heart and soul into magazines, websites, TV shows, everything country and rustic. 

These places call on to me
I felt while I'm working on the Villa del Sol house, I was still hungry for more. So I went back to the community we visited ages ago when it was too far fetched to buy a vacant lot and started calling agents. Random. Risky. Did not care. It was such a gamble to commit to a property while you are miles and miles away. I told myself, if I get swindled, what to do. I will be poor for a few years but poor while Alex is still in high school, I can live with that. I signed the dotted line. Again.

What have I gotten myself into!
So now I have two huge payments every month and for a year, hubby cannot know. I am practically penniless every month and hubby is just baffled but doesn't want to ask why.

SURPRISE!
The big reveal was supposed to be on his birthday, 2015. Our trip got delayed so it was revealed on the month of my birthday instead, September. Didn't make much difference, there were tears of joy, lots of hugs and screaming kids running around looking at rooms.

I also confessed the other deed of buying a plot in Crosswinds Tagaytay. Maybe the dream house will be there, maybe somewhere else, but I cannot take the chance of not having it ready for building just in case. 

Finally decided to rent out our Condo unit ala AirBnB awesomeness and so we got to work setting it up up to the last detail. Our Property Representative will coordinate the physical check-in and check-out of guests, setting up the place and I will handle coordination from thousands of miles away. Nerve wrecking at first. Our first guest was a Canadian Blogger. A professional traveler. We were scared shit. I was close to just letting him stay for free but I controlled my self and behaved like any professional host. Charged him for his stay.

​Part 3 in progress...

When I was a little girl I love to dream, I now have a little girl and I still dream, a lot. I am an absolute dreamer.

Those dreams stayed with me for the longest time. I use to call them big dreams because it sounded and looked far fetch for a ten-year old girl. I used to envision myself having a house, a wonderful career (I used to picture myself in business suit holding a briefcase,,, no briefcase, mostly laptop bag nowadays), a car.

Come college time, I still had those big dreams, still pictured myself in a suit but it evolved into seeing a future life of me being a single mom (I must have a kid to pass down my dream riches LOL), I foresaw a little girl, a full time nanny, a comfortable and pretty house and a kick-ass car.

Then I met hubby who obviously wrecked that single mom vision. Alex is a boy, I was still not in HR, I still cannot buy a car (I did not have a license), we lived in a small one bedroom in Deira with neighbours upstairs who are always pick up by nice cars, different cars. We had a kitchen that only fits one person. We had a full time nanny who sleeps in the living room with Alex on a sofa bed. 

I stopped dreaming. The dream juice died. No movies or novels were able to revive my dreaming heart. Since I was not dreaming which is part of my days, I was just working and trying hard to be a mom, and I felt like a failure. I knew zilch. Couldn't even cook (used to feed Alex McDonalds french fries, nuggets and milk. We still eat McDonalds junk but I now can whip up good stuff when time allows).

The Realisation
Then as if seeing Alex for the first time, I realised I have to go back to dreaming. So my dreams all came back. And one of the dreams was that I'll be able to cook for this boy and feed him something with substance (either that or be super rich and hire a chef to feed him with substance). It was little Alex who started my food journey.

I re-read my inspiration books and went back to dreaming vividly. I'm very visual so I had my car printed out, my house with all its glory and colour (at least the closes to how I pictured way back) and just $$$ with the briefcase. I had it stuck into one of my notebooks at work and I look at it every time I get frustrated.

The Missing Self-esteem
Family life was stressful in a sense that I couldn't see myself succeeding in it that at some point, I will fail miserably and it haunted me for years. There were so many doubts. Hubby and Alex reminded me not to doubt my dreams and how that has now evolved into wanting to make them proud of me. I went back to school around the same time Alex started one. I thought it's time to go back to fulfilling my career in my dream field. Not everyone has the chance to work in their chosen field but I will not give up.

In the meantime, I thought, let me face my fear and get a license. I cannot have a car without a license and that a Car is part of my Big Dream as a little girl. It just have to happen.

Two down, more to go
I got my license and I got my car (hubby bought it for me) and got my first real HR role within the same month. When it rains, it pours. That opened the door for other HR role in other organisations. HR experience and being mobile was the key. There goes me in a business suit and for awhile I did carry a briefcase but the files in it keeps on getting thicker, I had to ditch the damn bag.

The little me saw a house, it even had a colour. But my heart is not sold out on the idea of a house in my own country. I had to postpone it for as long as I can until it feels it's the right time or find a way to buy the house somewhere else.

Practice Makes Perf.... Improvement
By the time Jason came, my cooking has improved. My kitchen skills is far better than what I will ever imagine... but my memory isn't. I cannot remember how exactly I did a dish or what changes I made. Jason's energy made me think of starting a blog. And here it is now. Sometimes it's updated, most of the time it's not. But once upon a time, I update it often with my kitchen experiments. Along the way, Jason and I and Alex have our own photo ops to boast.

It Left as Fast as It Came
​At some point, I wanted to have a business, any business and hopefully have more time for my family. By that time, the dream of owning a business has already consumed me. So I did the business without passion. It was just the business that I can easily start. I want to know what it takes to have one. I did and then I don't have it. 

The Learning
I sure will have another business but something that I am passionate about. In time, we will do a grand reveal. It's something that makes my heart jump with joy. The business plan is in my laptop bag, it has a nice logo and a good concept line. One day, I'll pour my heart and soul into filling up the required information and complete a whole business plan. For now, it inspires me to learn every day. It keeps a burning desire to work even harder so we can make it happen.

My dream at this time is not too far away from what I had as a little girl, a house somewhere with a yard, a big car, a career in HR and the addition of a business I am passionate about and a bigger place good enough to accommodate us while we are here in the UAE.

Part 2

 My mother has a big heart... sometimes to a fault.

I still remember when I still a little girl, it was two days before Christmas, she bought boxes of special hams and I thought, "we sure can't finish them all, what is she thinking?!" 

We then roamed around the city looking for Metro-aids. (Metro-aids are the ones who clean the streets). She then asked me to approach them and give a box of ham each while greeting them "Merry Christmas". 

Up to this day, their facial expressions were still quite vivid in my head. It started with the grumpy look, to baffled, to a smile so genuine, some even have tears in their eyes. My mom told me, "I think we just made a few families happy this Christmas Eve". Every Christmas, I think of them and I wonder if that simple gesture from our side made a difference. I wonder if they still remember that day because for sure, I still do.

Now that I'm older and have my own family, I would like to instill "helping others" to my children the way my mother did. 

My two boys helped out one time in our yearly Ramadan Company CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) activities. Giving away food boxes to labourers is one of the many that we do in Ramadan. But I thought, why should we limit helping others to the season of Ramadan.

So recently, my boys had a one week school break. We received an email from the school to bring the boys to work to give them exposure and practical experience. Since my husband brings the boys to work anyways even when they are not on school break, it feels like they can probably do something else. So I asked them if they'd be interested to give out snacks to labourers and street workers. They said it sounds like a good idea and so the idea begun.

I thought 20 packs of food is good enough. When I started ordering for samosas, I realised that's just too small of a number. And so the 20 became 50 samosas. If they have to eat samosa, they also need water, and juice and fruits.

So in the end, we have 50 samosas, 50 clementines, more than 50 water bottles and juice boxes. 

We didn't have to go far and it didn't take too long to finish off our stash. 

The first ones were 2 labourers who took a break away from their team and a street sweeper. They were pretty happy with the food and they keep on telling us "thank you, thank you".

The next were around 4 labourers waiting for their pick-up. When we asked them if they would like some samosas, they thought we were looking were to get samosas so they were saying they don't know. I figured it was miscommunication and so I just put one samosa in each bowl, put the sweet and spicy sauce and show them, their eyes lit up and suddenly gravitated towards our car. Jason happily got water bottles, juice boxes and clementines. Alex was the photographer of the day. Though he was not giving out food, he was smiling. He knows we were doing something good.

I thought, okay, I don't want the samosas to go cold. These are good samosas, I know because we order the exact ones for the office when we crave for it. I told the boys, we're gonna have to go to Media City and distribute what we have at the construction site in front of UOWD. But on our way to the exit, I saw 3 Labourers under the heat, taking a break, so I decided to take a pit stop.

3 became 5, became 6, and before we knew it, we were left with just 5 samosas. Every time we were about to leave, Jason will yell, "mommy, more are coming!". Word of mouth definitely travels fast, especially when you're hungry and it's about food.

By the rate of it, the boys were both telling me, we should have bought more samosas. :)

It was hot, I was sick, boys were getting exhausted going back and forth to get the stash and distributing them. But we were all happy in the end.

As we left the construction site and headed to the mall's parking lot to distribute the remaining 5, we saw from afar a lot, a lot, a lot of construction workers on queue waiting for their bus. We all look at each other, well we now know where will be the next place to distribute when we do this again. 

In the mall's parking lot, I saw a cleaner. I told Jason to ask him if he would like a samosa. He quickly said he wanted and so I told him, I'll give him all 5 with the remaining sauces, he can share (or not) with his friends at work or bring it home, it's up to him. He looked so happy.

Then I checked, we still have some water bottles, juice boxes and a few clementines. Apparently, some of the labourers didn't take water or juice or clementines. Some just took either a juice or just water or just the fruit, but for sure every single one took samosa.

On our way home, we decided to pass by the horde of labourers we saw and distribute whatever is left. Once again, miscommunication happened. When we asked, do you guys want water, most of them said no, because they thought we were looking for a place to get water. 

The minute Jason started waiving water bottles and juice boxes in front of them, it went all crazy. It was a good thing we were inside the car, our stash disappeared in just a minute. We had to tell them sorry, we have no more.

We left the area and for sure know that the next time we distribute, it will be to this area. We ended the day with a happy heart. 

​Looking forward to our next "lend a hand" activity.

I am all about getting inspired and motivated and usually when it works for me, I love to share it. It makes me very happy to see others benefit from my experiences. I love sharing.

I attended a workshop last week where the trainer said something about, "when you feel a little down, try to help someone, usually you'll immediately feel good and your mood will start to change." 

I never knew that before but I always have this instinct to help if I can. I must have gotten it from my mom.

So today, I'm not feeling down, on the contrary, I am actually very very happy because I am back to my cooking and baking self. I feel like I'm getting back to my castle of contentment. I am sharing because I believe it might help someone else reach their goal(s) and that would be such a grand thing!

I got my kids to join in which is really exciting. Alex is not hard to convince. I explained the mechanics, explained "delayed gratification", explained the reward, he asked questions, I answered and that's it. He got his envelope, wrote on it and put in his first 3 weeks savings from his extra money and moved on.

Jason? That's a different story. 

Jason is the skeptic. He has to see what's in it for him, like really I had to make a hard sell! There are so many obstacles and series of questions that I need to answer before he got convinced. In the end he told me, "but mommy, I only have Dh 1, because I spent the rest on food. He had to wait for the next day to have enough money for the envelope. What a labour intensive thing! 

So the challenge has been called different names and it's been going on for years but some are still unaware of it.

Basically, we have 52 weeks in a year. Every week, you make a contribution to which week you are in.  Right now we are towards the beginning of week 4, so the savings in the envelope should be the value of $10:
Week 1 - deposit $1
Week 2 - deposit $2
Week 3 - deposit $3
Week 4 - deposit $4
Total as of week 4 = $10

Then on week 5, you should add 5 in the envelope and so it continues until you reach 52.

It's up to you what currency you feel like. Jason and Alex are on Dirhams since that's as much as they can afford with their school money. I am doing it on US Dollars. Maybe another year, I'll do it in Euro or British Pounds to make it more challenging!!! 

I sent the same thing to my colleagues and suggested, if they want to, they can also save for a love one and come 52nd week, they can gift it (or keep it too, you greedy you!). So many variations you can do! You can even have an envelope for each member of your family!

Again, do it if you want to. I told the same thing to my nanny and she just shrugged her shoulders. Obviously she is not into it. 

For me, it is one of the highlights of my week. Opening the envelop and putting in a little amount, it makes me smile.

Now that I'm a lot older, I like to save. This is how I managed to afford a big Europe tour for a family of 4 in 2014. It wasn't a budget travel, it was a well thought, obsessed kind of organised trip. My whole family didn't know what's happening until I said "we are applying for visa". Even then they knew squat. I'll write all about it soon (i hope). It was an amazing experience, the sparkle in their eyes were priceless. 

It was a fully-paid and fully organised trip that the only thing we need to do is pack our clothes and go. From the air tickets, the accommodation, the tours, the exquisite dinner by Alain Ducasse atop Eiffel tower, the only thing we paid for were tips, snacks here and there and daily grocery. Imagine going for a big trip with all big chunky expenses out of the way? It was blissful.

The same amount of determination was applied last year when I found out towards the end of 2014 that we are pregnant! I had some extra stash, I didn't want to spend them all on bags so I decided to kick start investing on properties. Got us our first proper house, furnished and a vacant lot in a prime location perfect for future vacation house. Again, it was all a wonderful surprise, another story to tell, another time. 

What I'm saying is, this 52 week challenge is just to tickle your saving buds. If you can do this, you can do more. IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

1,300 in whatever currency is a good amount of money. You certainly cannot pick it up from the street.

This savings challenge does not replace serious savings, like kids education, retirement or emergency fund. Don't abandon those, please! This is a fun savings that should make your week bright and make you giddy with delight. Do this on the side as a reward for you to splurge or do what the heck you want to at the end of the year... for your self.

​So what do you say?

Two weeks back, I watched Discovery Channel with the boys and the title of the series was Re-Design My Brain. It was basically about a man named Todd Sampson who is on a quest to expand his brain capacity. There were activities addressing speed, memory, flexibility and so on.

He had to do juggling for half an hour everyday for the next few weeks (see I can't even remember that part). Apparently, juggling does not just improve our hand-eye coordination, it also boosts your memory. He also had to practice his attention to detail and response speed through a series of computer exercises  and help his detail retention through the art of mnemonics. At the end of his training, he is supposed to compete in World Memory Championships where individuals of different ages display their brains' prowess through a number of levels and tests.

As a newbie, he is supposed to memorise a deck of cards in full detail on exactly how they were arranged. And guess what? He was able to! It was awe-mazing!

So I thought, why not try it?

My mom always say that our brain should always be challenged. If we don't interact on the same level of people as we used to, our IQ will go down. She said, "take me for example, because I am a stay-at-home mom, my IQ was not as high as it used to be". Well, I'm not sure of the IQ part and do not entirely agree on the reason of being a stay-at-home but she is partially right. 

I remember when I stopped working for awhile and I just became a couch potato. I was not reading anything academic, not abreast with current events, I was mostly playing games on the computer or watching TV series and reading gossip columns. The silliest and shallowest things amused me. Even my perspective on various areas became laughable. When I recall some of the conversations I had then, it was awful to the point of cringe-worthy. I almost want to write a disclaimer that anyone who had a conversation with me during those years, please erase it from your memory.

So yes, if our brains became idle and are not fed with good value information, junk instead of nutrition, naturally and expectedly, it will wither away. 

It is very fortunate that we have technology on our hands, that information now is more accessible than it used to be. There is no excuse for being misinformed. It doesn't matter whether you are a full time mom, part time mom, not a mom, fresh graduate, man, woman, old, young, student, each one of us is armed with information.

I think our nemesis now is which information retention and filtering. After all, this is the generation of 6-second video Vines, 140 character Tweets and few seconds Snapchats. It almost feel like we are those test subjects being fed subliminal messages through blinking words in the middle of a movie.  

I have always aimed at continuous learning and improvement. Always into reading but now on top of my reading, I make it a point to read at least 3 articles a day about current events, technology or HR, first thing in the morning before work becomes hectic. I am also more involved now with the kids' Math and English exercises. After watching Redesign My Brain, I was even more intent on boosting my brain.

Then I found BrainHQ. So far, it's keeping me entertained, so are the boys. After all it is presented as a game. Who doesn't like a game? I for one is addicted to games. As they say, "practice makes perfect". It's not really perfection that we are looking for but improvement. Improve we all did as we go along. Our rates improve with every practice and I notice my information retention is getting better too.

The boys are asking me to subscribe. We're using the free version at the moment. Maybe I will subscribe. If our progress is consistent, I sure will.

A lot of things are in my head. Just like any other day, a competition between ideas, issues, solutions, stories and a whole lot more occurs trying to get a piece of my time, attention, brain and effort.
 
I got a call from my kids' school right while I was in a meeting, which at the exact time my boss was also looking for me. I saw two missed calls, both are important. As a working mom, who do I call first?
 
That day is like any other day.

I called back the school while typing on my Whatsapp, messaging my boss while waiting for the School Reception to pick up. Finally someone answered but couldn't tell me who tried to call me as it's the main switchboard. She said "don't worry, for sure they'll call back". I know they will, they always do.

Unfortunately when they did, I was in an impromptu meeting. I found out from hubby that it was School Management trying to call and it's because our oldest boy, Alex is suspended for two days over a fight.

Mother's normal reaction would have been panic and anger. Mine was total calm, I was curious but definitely collected. Alex has a history of being pick on ever since a little one and sometimes, he reaches a point of "too much" and he fights back.

I am not condoning violence but I cannot fault him for defending himself. 

There was an incident before when Alex put two kids to the clinic. They were the same kids who's been kicking his back while he's walking doing his thing, calling him names. When the school called and told me about it and told me to tell my son not to resort to violence, I out-rightly replied,  "he has been telling school authorities about these bullies but somehow nobody is taking action, should I blame him for having had enough?"

Before the incident happen, Alex talked to me. After so many discussion on what he should do to inform authorities, in the end I was left with this to say, "okay Alex, you did everything you can to let them know. This has been months. If the same bullies try to hurt you, do what you have to do to defend yourself. If you do, make sure it sends a message to the others". He did.

After the incident, I had a chat with Alex to tell him that "now that you've proven what you can do, let's go back to informing authorities". 

As a parent, I am in such dilemma. When he was growing up, we were very keen in instilling in him "no to violence". Always telling him to watch his temper. Never hurt a girl. Never start a fight. If he is in the middle of an argument, walk away because his dad said, "if I find out you hit someone or go into a fight, you will be in big trouble".

Then came school, his Tourette ticks, his short attention span when he was young, his height (he used to be the smallest one) all contributing to him being targeted by bullies.

I wouldn't say he's anything special, the bullies target anyone within reach. Alex is probably 1 out of the other targeted ones  in the whole building. As a parent, should I tell him to forget what we thought him and just hit back when someone hits him or should he continue walking away and keep him vulnerable?

I still say keep peace and stay away from where the bullies hang out but obviously, if push comes to shove and he is on a spot, "defend yourself". We have one strict rule, he must never start the fight, or else, it means big trouble. If we find out that he started the fight, he will not see neither I nor his dad meeting school authorities. He is on his own to sort his shit out.

He is now 13 years old and so far the basic rule is still in place. So when I get calls like that, I have a series of standard questions, "Who started it? Where did you get hit? Are you hurt? Can you handle the pain or is it serious and should I be worried? Where did you hit back? Is it worth the disciplinary office trip? Do you think you did that right thing? 

For some who are curious what was the last issue, it was his classmate who keeps on cursing at him in Tagalog (my kids don't speak Tagalog but they are aware of the bad words, thanks to their other Filipino classmates for the lesson). I believe it was somewhere along the neighbourhood of FU or SOB kinda of curse, I did not explore, I am on denial that my boy actually knows the meaning of these words.

Alex was not in the mood for it so he retorted and called the boy a horrible name. Alex, unfortunately cross the line with his retort. It is an unacceptable word, anywhere in the world. So the boy naturally went livid, punch him in the head, Alex hit back and also managed to throw a chair at his classmate's head.

By the time I reach him on the phone, they have already made up, back to friends but did not get away from their corresponding rewards of 2-days suspension.   

​The joys of parenting!

Interesting read: 
"Bullied Kids Should Hit Back, According to US experts"